The consent process will be handled pursuant to the laws of the state where the child is born. Please contact the agency or attorney in that state for any questions you may have about that process. I am only licensed in California so I cannot provide advice or guidance on the legal processes in other states.

When the adoption is an interstate adoption, there are additional requirements that must be completed prior to the child traveling across state lines. This process is called ICPC. Generally speaking, the ICPC administrators in the sending state (where the child was born) and the receiving state (where you live) must both review and approve the placement before a child can travel across state lines for the purposes of adoption. This involves some additional documentation and paperwork.

As a rule of thumb, I recommend planning for each state to take 2-3 business days to approve the placement. This means that you will need to plan to stay in the state where the child was born for 1-2 weeks after the child is discharged from the hospital. Either adoptive parent can return home if necessary, it is the child that must remain in the state. Once ICPC is approved, you are free to travel home with the child.

As part of the adoption process, all parental rights must be terminated by the court. Typically, the TPR laws of the state where the child is born will be followed.

In that case, the agency or attorney in the sending state will provide the potential birth father(s) with notice (if applicable) and file the required petitions in court to terminate the birth father’s rights. A California court is required to give full faith and credit to a TPR order issued by another state’s court. Therefore, cnce the court in that state issues TPR order, we can attach that to the Adoption Request and file the adoption case in California court.

If a birth mother or father claims to be of Native American heritage, steps must be taken, including notice to the tribe(s), to assess whether the child to be adopted is an “Indian child” under state and federal law called the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).

If a child is a member or eligible for membership, the child would be an “Indian child.” If the baby were found by the tribe to be an “Indian child” within the meaning of the ICWA law (each tribe has a different definition of who is eligible for membership), the Indian tribe can choose to intervene in the adoption and even stop the adoption. Further, if the child is an “Indian child” and the tribe does allow the adoption to continue, the birth mother would have to re-sign her consent to the adoption by signing an Indian consent in front of a judge and would have the ability to revoke her consent at any time before the adoption is final.

Thus, there are certain, very definite additional risks if a child is an “Indian child.” There is federal law as well as California law controlling what needs to be done if a child could be an Indian child.

If you become aware of any information indicating that the child or birth family may have Native American heritage, please inform me immediately.

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An initial birth certificate will be completed in the hospital, listing the birth mother as the mother and the name that she chooses for the baby.

After the baby is born, the agency or attorney in the state where the child is born will be ordering a certified copy of the child’s initial birth certificate, which is needed for the agency and court. They typically will provide me with a hard copy, which I will mail to you. I recommend keeping this certificate in a safe location and using copies if needed for anything, such as insurance or travel prior to finalization.

Once the adoption is finalized, a new birth certificate will be issued with your names as the child’s parents and the name you want for the child after the adoption is finalized. (See below for information on that process.)

After we receive the TPR order, the Adoption Request can be filed in the California Superior Court to open a legal case and start the legal finalization process. I will be emailing you a copy of the Adoption Request for your review and e-signatures. Typically, we file in the county where you live. There are some exceptions that we can discuss further, if applicable.

Once the Adoption Request is filed and returned by the court, I will send you a copy for your records. If necessary, you can show the Adoption Request to anyone, such as your medical insurance company, as further proof that the child is placed with you for the purposes of adoption. This document is also useful because it is one of the few documents connecting the baby’s name at birth to the name he/she will have after the adoption. 

In order to request a final adoption hearing at the court, I will need to file a list of all adoption expenses which you incurred throughout the process. The judge must review and approve all expenses paid for the adoption prior to the final adoption hearing. Therefore, please keep a list of all amounts you spend in connection with the adoption, including: social worker fees, facilitator fees, agency fees, medical expenses, any expenses paid to or for the birth mother, home study fees, attorney’s fees, fingerprinting fees, etc. For each expense, I will need to know the payee’s name and address, the date of the payment, and the amount of the payment.

You can track the expenses in whatever way is easiest for you (as long as it includes the information above in bold). If you need a spreadsheet to track expenses, you can make a copy of one that I have created here: Adoption Expenses.

I will let you know when I need your list of expenses, but expect that it will be approximately four months after placement. Once I have that information from you, I can begin preparing the form for the final adoption hearing well in advance.

Please remember that, in an adoption, any expenses incurred are not reimbursable in the event for some reason the adoption is not completed. Any expenses paid to the birth mother are deemed an “act of charity” and are not reimbursable in the event the adoption does not finalize.

Outside your county of residence:

If you plan on traveling with the baby for more than 30 days outside of your county before the adoption is final, you must let your social worker know. A court order for permission to leave should be obtained if you plan for the child to leave the county for more than 30 days. Once the adoption is final and you are the child’s legal parents, you will not, of course, need anyone’s permission to travel with the child or to move out of the county.

International travel:

Once the adoption is granted, you are able to have a passport issued in the child’s new name even before you receive the amended birth certificate.

While the adoption is pending, you may need to get court approval to obtain a passport, which I can help with if necessary. Please let me know if you have plans to leave the country while your adoption is pending. It is best to let me know if there is any possibility of international travel during the year following placement of the child with you. If this is the case, we can try to request that the birth parent(s) sign a notarized consent (so you can obtain a passport) at the time they are advised of their rights or at the signing of the relinquishment. That can help streamline the passport process. If we do not have a notarized consent from the birth parent(s), you can still apply for a passport with a court order. In either scenario, the agency will also need to sign an affidavit allowing you to obtain a passport for the child and approving your travel. Once you have specific plans in place, notify me as well as the agency so we can coordinate. Obtaining a court order for the passport will be an additional fee for my services.

While the adoption is pending, if you need an identifying number for the child for tax purposes, you will need to talk with your tax preparer or the IRS about getting an Adoption Tax Identification Number (ATIN—IRS form W-7A). More information about that form and process can be found on the IRS’ website at: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/adoption-taxpayer-identification-number

If you need an ATIN, I recommend that you submit that request to the IRS well in advance of filing your taxes as it can take a while to obtain the number.

More information about obtaining the new Social Security Number for the child after finalization can be found below under the Finalization heading.

Under California law, there is a minimum six-month post-placement supervision period during which the agency is overseeing the placement and checking in with you. In an agency adoption, they must conduct 4 post-placement visits in that 6 month period.

After the adoption petition has been filed, I will send a copy to the post-placement agency.

During this time, please be in touch with the post-placement agency and responsive to their requests for information and visit scheduling. The quickest way to finalize is to have all the necessary requirements done as close to the six-month mark as possible.

After at least six months from the date of the filing of the Adoption Request, the agency will file a report with the court recommending the adoption. When I receive a copy of that report, I will prepare the final Adoption Order, Adoption Expenses, and Adoption Agreement for your approval, and send them to the court.

Once the court receives the report from the agency and these final documents, and all birth parents have either consented or had their rights terminated, a court can then set a hearing to finalize the adoption. The court will not set a date until all of the above is completed.

A birth parent may request a written, enforceable contact agreement which would be filed with the court. That agreement would be enforceable by the court; meaning any party to the agreement could potentially request that the court enforce, modify, or terminate the agreement while the child is a minor.

I strongly believe that any agreement regarding post-adoption contact should be reduced to writing and filed with the court. This ensures clear understanding and expectations on all sides. If there is no written agreement, any agreement that you have with the birth family regarding post-adoption contact is an informal verbal agreement, which is a good faith agreement that the parties should abide by during the child’s minority or as long as agreed.

If a written agreement is signed by all parties, I would file that along with a Contact After Adoption Agreement form in the court where the adoption is pending. At the time of finalization, the court also signs the agreement, making it an order of the court.

The court retains jurisdiction over the Contact After Adoption Agreement. At any time in the future (while the child is a minor), a party can ask the court to enforce, modify, or terminate the agreement. The parties must attempt mediation prior to asking the court to get involved. Compliance or non-compliance with the agreement cannot be used as a basis to overturn an adoption.

If TPR is not being handled in the state where the child was born (as described above), then we will need to terminate the birth father’s rights pursuant to California law.

You should be aware that there are several different categories of birth fathers under California law that each have differing rights when it comes to adoption. If the birth mother is not married to the biological father, the father is considered an “alleged father” under California law. As such, he does not have the same rights or automatic veto power over the adoption as does the birth mother. An alleged father does, however, have the right to be notified of the adoption and to oppose it by taking certain affirmative actions if he so chooses.

An alleged father could sign a Denial or Waiver of his rights before a notary before or after the birth which would indicate that he is fine with the adoption. Signing those documents does not in and of itself terminate the father’s rights. If a father signed, I would submit that signed document to the Court to request that his rights be terminated after the baby is born and the adoption petition is filed in court. Until his rights are terminated by the court, an alleged father still has rights, but he would affirmatively have to go to court to un-do the documents he has signed. Such actions are very rare.

If an alleged father was not willing to sign a Denial or Waiver, and his whereabouts are known, he would be served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity, giving him 30 days after the date of service of the notice or after the birth of the baby, whichever is later, to file a paternity action. If the birth father does not file a paternity action within that time frame, I would file a petition to terminate his rights. He would not normally be given notice of that petition.

There is always the possibility of a contest until a father’s rights are terminated. If, after being served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity, an alleged father chose to file a paternity action or otherwise contacted the court, the action could unfortunately delay or even, in the extreme, stop the adoption. The alleged father would have to prove that: (1) he is the biological father; and (2) adoption is not in the best interests of the child. The court would have to make the determination as to whether the father’s consent is necessary for the adoption. The court could appoint free counsel to the birth father. While it can be difficult for fathers to prevail in court, to go through that process is, of course, emotionally and financially draining for adoptive families. If there were a contest, I would refer you to adoption litigators in California who specialize in contested adoptions.

For your information, there is another type of father under California law. That father starts out as an “alleged father” but, by promptly coming forward and demonstrating a full commitment to his parental responsibilities as soon as he knows or reasonably should have known of the pregnancy, he can elevate himself to the level of a “presumed father” and have veto power over the adoption. That type of father is called a “Kelsey S.” father based on a California Supreme Court case of that name which expanded the rights of such a father.

Also, if the birth mother was legally married but not divorced or legally separated, or if a birth father was on the baby’s birth certificate, he would be elevated to the status of a “legal” or “presumed” father of the baby (whether or not he is the biological father) and he would have equal rights with the birth mother. A presumed father can sign a Waiver of Right to Further Notice of Adoption Planning (Presumed Father) before or after the birth, or he would have to sign adoption consent or placement papers. If he does neither, his rights would have to be terminated by court action after he has abandoned the child for six months.

Until the birth father’s rights are terminated, he remains a risk to the adoption.

Prior to the hearing, I will provide information about the exact location and department for the finalization hearing.

I always recommend arriving around 15 minutes early to park and get through security. Typically, you will wait in the hall/lobby area outside of the courtroom until the bailiff comes out to either check you in or to call your case.

You are welcome to invite any family/friends that you would like to be there for the final hearing. Birth parents are not notified of the hearing.

The hearing itself will be very brief and celebratory. You may be sworn in to answer some questions. The clerk will ask you to state and spell your names for the record. Then the judge (or I) will confirm that you are the petitioners, that you desire to adopt the child, that you agree to be the child’s parents and to have the same rights and responsibilities as if he/she were born to you. You will sign the adoption agreement, which will also be signed by the judge. Then the judge will sign the order and it’s official! Afterwards, you typically are allowed to take some pictures in the courtroom, but we always have to defer to the courtroom staff.

At the hearing, you will receive a certified copy of the adoption order (although some courts mail it out to you at a later date). This will serve as the official document of your adoption until the amended birth certificate is mailed from Vital Records.

Under California law, when the adoption is final, the only way it can be set aside is if a petition to set it aside is filed and granted by the court. The time limits for such an action are one year for a defect in the proceedings and 3 years for fraud, or 90 days from the date of discovery of the alleged fraud, whichever is earlier. Such proceedings are extremely rare.

For the new birth certificate, after the finalization hearing, the California court will send a certified copy of the Adoption Order along with the VS-44 Court Report of Adoption (which you complete with the post-placement agency) to California Vital Records who will forward it to Vital Records in the state where the child was born.

Within a few months after finalization, you should receive a letter from California Vital Records that essentially confirms that they have received your request and have forwarded it to the state where the child was born. They use strange wording, so just a heads up, the letter will say something to the effect of: “We are unable to process your request because we only maintain records of births occurring in California. We are sending the adoption paperwork to ​_______ Vital Records.” After that, I recommend reaching out to ​the Vital Records Department in the state where the child was born to find out if they will require any additional fees. Each state is different, and fees vary, so this will ensure you have accurate information and the new certificate will not be held up.

The original birth certificate will then become sealed and copies of that version cannot be requested at a later time (unless there is a court order unsealing it). I recommend keeping a copy of the original birth certificate in a safe place and making it available to your child should he or she ever wish to see it. 

If you need another certified copy of the Adoption Order or any other court document in your case in the future, you may obtain them by writing or going to the Adoption Clerk of the Superior Court where the adoption was finalized. There is a fee for obtaining additional copies and you should check with the Clerk to learn what the current fees are. Please bear in mind that all adoption files, under current law, are confidential.

Under normal circumstances, you will not be able to get a Social Security card for the child until after the adoption is final and, for some Social Security offices, until you have received the amended birth certificate.

Once you receive the child’s new birth certificate, you will be able to obtain a Social Security number for him/her. If he/she was already assigned a SSN at birth, I would still suggest that you request a new SSN. You can check with the Social Security office to see what they will need.

If you need an ID number before you can get the new SSN, you can apply for an adoption taxpayer identification number (ATIN) using IRS form W7A.

Once finalized, you can apply for a passport for the child using the Adoption Order, the Adoption Agreement, his/her original birth certificate, and everything else that is needed for the passport. If you wait to get a passport until you have his/her new birth certificate, you would not need to submit the adoption documents. You can check with the passport office to get answers to any questions you might have.

If you have not already done so, you should consult with an estate-planning attorney to talk about doing or updating your estate plan and naming a prospective guardian in the unlikely event something happens to you.

Federal law provides for Adoption Tax Credits to adopting parents. Be sure you keep all receipts and cancelled checks or credit card statements for all your expenses so you can provide them to the IRS as needed. You should talk with your tax preparer or the IRS regarding your eligibility for this credit and for information on when and how you apply for the credit. More information can be found here: https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/individuals/adoption-credit

This is also a great resource: https://adoptioncouncil.org/article/adoption-tax-credit-questions/

In addition, you should check with your employer to see if there are any adoption assistance programs available to help with your adoption.

https://adoptioncouncil.org/post-adoption-support/

https://adoptionsupport.org

https://www.parentingdifferent.com

https://robyngobbel.com

Book: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors

Surrounded by Love, Allison Olson

Adoption Is Both, Elena Hall

ABCs of Adoption, Raquel McCloud

What Will I Do With My Love Today, Kristen Chenoweth

Some Babies Are Adopted, Cindy Walker 

Learning About My Friend’s Adoption, Allison Olson