As required by California law, the expectant mother must have an initial meeting (called the “Advisement”) with a social worker acting as an Adoption Service Provider (ASP) to be advised of her rights in an independent adoption. As part of the Advisement, the ASP will provide at least the following personal information about you: “[Your] full legal names, ages, religion, race or ethnicity, length of current marriage and number of previous marriages, employment, whether other children or adults reside in your home, whether there are other children who do not reside in your home and the child support obligation for these children and any failure to meet these obligations, any health conditions curtailing your normal daily activities or reducing your normal life expectancies, any convictions for crimes other than minor traffic violations, any removals of children from your care due to child abuse or neglect, and your general area of residence or, upon request, your address.”

The ASP will meet again with the expectant mother after birth and at least 10 calendar days after the Advisement as required by law, to sign the adoption consent papers, called the Independent Adoption Placement Agreement (IAPA), among other papers. You will meet with the ASP to sign the IAPA also. You should receive a copy of the IAPA from the ASP, but if for some reason you don’t, please let me know.

In an independent adoption, the birth parent has 30 days from the signing of the IAPA to revoke her/his consent and request the return of the baby for any reason unless she/he signs a Waiver of her 30 day right to revoke. If the birth parent chooses to sign a Waiver, her/his consent will be deemed irrevocable at 5:00pm the next business day after signing. Prior to signing the Waiver, as required by law, the birth mother must be advised about the Waiver by an independent attorney, for whom you would pay. The typical cost of that attorney’s services is $500-$700.

If the expectant mother has had any recent mental health background, including therapy, medication or hospitalization, a doctor or psychologist would need to evaluate her and write a letter deeming her competent to sign the adoption consent. The ASP (or I) can coordinate the competency evaluation, if necessary.

In an agency adoption, the expectant mother will sign a relinquishment of her parental rights with a California licensed child-placing agency. As required by California law, the expectant mother must have an initial meeting (called the “Advisement”) with an agency social worker to be advised of her rights in an agency adoption.

Once she is medically discharged from the hospital, (and at least one day after the advisement), the expectant mother will then meet with the agency social worker for a second meeting and sign the Relinquishment placing the child for adoption. Because the expectant mother has specifically chosen you as the adopting parents, it is considered an “identified relinquishment” (as opposed to an unidentified relinquishment where the birth mother does not want to know where the child is being placed but leaves that decision to the agency).

If the expectant mother has had any recent mental health background, including therapy, medication or hospitalization, a doctor or psychologist would need to write a letter deeming her competent to sign the adoption consent. Typically, the agency social worker will coordinate the competency evaluation, if necessary.

The relinquishment is sent to Sacramento to be received and acknowledged. Until that time, it is revocable (unless the Waiver of Right to Revoke Relinquishment has been signed). Once it is “acknowledged”, a maximum of 10 business days after Sacramento receives it, the relinquishment becomes irrevocable and the birth mother cannot revoke it, unless the agency would allow it. Generally, the only basis would be if she were able to show she was coerced or defrauded, and no such allegation has ever been sustained in my experience.

As mentioned above, a birth mother can sign a Waiver of Right to Revoke at the same time that she signs the Relinquishment. If the birth mother chooses to sign a Waiver, her consent will be deemed irrevocable at 5:00pm the next business day after signing. Prior to signing the Waiver, as required by law, the birth mother must be advised about the Waiver by an independent attorney, for whom you would pay. The typical cost of that attorney’s services is $500-$700.

You should be aware that there are several different categories of birth fathers under California law that each have differing rights when it comes to adoption. If the birth mother is not married to the biological father, the father is considered an “alleged father” under California law. As such, he does not have the same rights or automatic veto power over the adoption as does the birth mother. An alleged father does, however, have the right to be notified of the adoption and to oppose it by taking certain affirmative actions if he so chooses.

An alleged father could sign a Denial or Waiver of his rights before a notary before or after the birth which would indicate that he is fine with the adoption. Signing those documents does not in and of itself terminate the father’s rights. If a father signed, I would submit that signed document to the Court to request that his rights be terminated after the baby is born and the adoption petition is filed in court. Until his rights are terminated by the court, an alleged father still has rights, but he would affirmatively have to go to court to un-do the documents he has signed. Such actions are very rare.

If an alleged father was not willing to sign a Denial or Waiver, and his whereabouts are known, he would be served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity, giving him 30 days after the date of service of the notice or after the birth of the baby, whichever is later, to file a paternity action. If the birth father does not file a paternity action within that time frame, I would file a petition to terminate his rights. He would not normally be given notice of that petition.

There is always the possibility of a contest until a father’s rights are terminated. If, after being served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity, an alleged father chose to file a paternity action or otherwise contacted the court, the action could unfortunately delay or even, in the extreme, stop the adoption. The alleged father would have to prove that: (1) he is the biological father; and (2) adoption is not in the best interests of the child. The court would have to make the determination as to whether the father’s consent is necessary for the adoption. The court could appoint free counsel to the birth father. While it can be difficult for fathers to prevail in court, to go through that process is, of course, emotionally and financially draining for adoptive families. If there were a contest, I would refer you to adoption litigators in California who specialize in contested adoptions.

For your information, there is another type of father under California law. That father starts out as an “alleged father” but, by promptly coming forward and demonstrating a full commitment to his parental responsibilities as soon as he knows or reasonably should have known of the pregnancy, he can elevate himself to the level of a “presumed father” and have veto power over the adoption. That type of father is called a “Kelsey S.” father based on a California Supreme Court case of that name which expanded the rights of such a father.

Also, if the birth mother was legally married but not divorced or legally separated, or if a birth father was on the baby’s birth certificate, he would be elevated to the status of a “legal” or “presumed” father of the baby (whether or not he is the biological father) and he would have equal rights with the birth mother. A presumed father can sign a Waiver of Right to Further Notice of Adoption Planning (Presumed Father) before or after the birth, or he would have to sign adoption consent or placement papers. If he does neither, his rights would have to be terminated by court action after he has abandoned the child for six months.

Until the birth father’s rights are terminated, he remains a risk to the adoption.

If a birth mother or father claims to be of Native American heritage, steps must be taken, including notice to the tribe(s), to assess whether the child to be adopted is an “Indian child” under state and federal law called the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).

If a child is a member or eligible for membership, the child would be an “Indian child.” If the baby were found by the tribe to be an “Indian child” within the meaning of the ICWA law (each tribe has a different definition of who is eligible for membership), the Indian tribe can choose to intervene in the adoption and even stop the adoption. Further, if the child is an “Indian child” and the tribe does allow the adoption to continue, the birth mother would have to re-sign her consent to the adoption by signing an Indian consent in front of a judge and would have the ability to revoke her consent at any time before the adoption is final.

Thus, there are certain, very definite additional risks if a child is an “Indian child.” There is federal law as well as California law controlling what needs to be done if a child could be an Indian child.

If you become aware of any information indicating that the child or birth family may have Native American heritage, please inform me immediately.

If a child is born in one state and the adopting parents live in a different state, it is called an interstate adoption. In an interstate adoption, there are additional requirements that must be completed prior to the child traveling across state lines. This process is called ICPC. Generally speaking, the ICPC administrators in the sending state (where the child was born) and the receiving state (where you live) must both review and approve the placement before a child can travel across state lines for the purposes of adoption. This involves some additional documentation and paperwork.

As a rule of thumb, I recommend planning for each state to take 2-3 business days to approve the placement. This means that you will need to plan to stay in the state where the child was born for 1-2 weeks after the child is discharged from the hospital. Either adoptive parent can return home if necessary; it is the child that must remain in the state. Once ICPC is approved, you are free to travel home with the child.

A birth parent may request a written, enforceable contact agreement which would be filed with the court. That agreement would be enforceable by the court; meaning any party to the agreement could potentially request that the court enforce, modify, or terminate the agreement while the child is a minor.

I strongly believe that any agreement regarding post-adoption contact should be reduced to writing and filed with the court. This ensures clear understanding and expectations on all sides. If there is no written agreement, any agreement that you have with the birth family regarding post-adoption contact is an informal verbal agreement, which is a good faith agreement that the parties should abide by during the child’s minority or as long as agreed.

If a written agreement is signed by all parties, I would file that along with a Contact After Adoption Agreement form in the court where the adoption is pending. At the time of finalization, the court also signs the agreement, making it an order of the court.

The court retains jurisdiction over the Contact After Adoption Agreement. At any time in the future (while the child is a minor), a party can ask the court to enforce, modify, or terminate the agreement. The parties must attempt mediation prior to asking the court to get involved. Compliance or non-compliance with the agreement cannot be used as a basis to overturn an adoption.

Under California law, prospective adoptive parents may assist an expectant mother with expenses that are reasonably related to the pregnancy. If requesting that expenses be paid, the expectant mother is required to provide: (1) a written request of the prospective adoptive parent(s) for payment of birth related expenses; and (2) written receipts for those expenses.

There is a lot of gray area in the statute regarding allowable expenses, but this has generally been interpreted to include medical expenses, maternity clothing, housing, food, utilities, transportation, and telephone costs.

The general guidelines regarding the time period of allowable expenses during the pregnancy is three months prior to birth. Post-birth, the general guidelines are 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for a cesarean delivery. There are case-by-case exceptions to the timeframes, which we can discuss if necessary.

When providing an expectant mother with financial support, it is incredibly important that everything is properly documented for the court to avoid any perception of impropriety. For that reason, I strongly suggest that any expectant parent expenses go through the agency (if one is involved) or through me as the attorney. I do not recommend that money be exchanged directly between prospective adoptive parents and expectant parents. When I disburse expectant parents funds, I try to pay the providers directly wherever possible, or obtain gift cards where it is not possible, and I document everything very meticulously. A reputable agency would also provide the appropriate amount of scrutiny and security of those funds to ensure they are being used for the precise expenses that they were intended for.

If you do provide anything to the expectant mother, even if it is just taking her out to lunch, please keep all receipts so that we can properly report it to the court.

If the adoption were to disrupt for any reason, please be aware that any and all amounts paid for a birth mother’s expenses are considered “charity” under California law and therefore adoptive parents may not ask for reimbursement. (See Penal Code section 273.)

Prior to birth, I will send a letter to the hospital informing them of the expectant mother’s adoption plan and that she has chosen you as the adopting parents. I will also send you a copy of that letter and I recommend bringing it with you to the hospital when the baby is born.

At the hospital, you will be required to provide the hospital’s social worker with your Driver’s License and Social Security Numbers, address, and telephone number for identification and to complete the Hospital Minor Release Form (“AD-22 Form”). Please be prepared to provide the hospital social worker with 2 forms of picture identification when it is time for the child’s discharge from the hospital.

If a birth mother has Medi-Cal for her prenatal and delivery expenses, usually there are no additional charges for the birth and prenatal care. If a birth mother has private insurance, there may be a co-pay that adopting parents would normally pay when billed. If a birth mother’s private insurance does not cover the baby and the delivery, the adopting parents would normally pay for that when billed. Sometimes adopting parents’ insurance will cover the baby from birth, including the hospital stay. In any event, adopting parents’ insurance is required by law to cover the baby from the time the baby is placed with the adopting parents and the adopting parents are able to make medical decisions for the child.

Please consult with a doctor or your pediatrician regarding any questions about the baby’s or the expecting mother’s health.

In an agency adoption, if the child has any special medical needs, the agency may apply for Adoption Assistance Program benefits (“AAP” or “Subsidy”) on behalf of the child. In essence, the benefit amounts to a monthly stipend equal to the benefits that children in foster care receive, until the child is eighteen. There are additional benefits and services as a part of AAP, including Medicaid. The benefits are provided through the county social services department and the application process can take quite a bit of time and will delay finalization. Although there is no guarantee that these benefits will be approved or that your child will qualify, I strongly believe it is worth pursuing if the child has any special medical need. Each state (and sometimes each county) is different regarding their requirements so please check with your agency regarding your child’s eligibility requirements.

In an independent adoption, the child is NOT entitled to receive AAP, unless the child has a need that causes the Social Security Administration to deem the child disabled. In that case, we would not proceed with the adoption until after we speak about this issue. Therefore, please inform me immediately of any medical need you become aware of.

An initial birth certificate will be completed in the hospital, listing the birth mother as the mother and the name that she chooses for the baby. Under California law, if a father signs a paternity declaration and his name is listed on the birth certificate, his rights to the child are essentially elevated to be equal to the birth mother’s rights.

After the baby is born, I will be ordering a certified copy of the child’s initial birth certificate, which is needed for the agency and court. I will be mailing the hard copy to you. I recommend keeping this certificate in a safe location and using copies if needed for anything, such as insurance or travel prior to finalization.

Once the adoption is finalized, the initial birth certificate will be sealed and a new one issued by Vital Records with your names as the child’s parents and the name you want for the child after the adoption is finalized. For a child born in California, it may take around four to six months for you to receive the birth certificate from Vital Records in Sacramento after the adoption is granted. If you do not receive any information about the new, amended birth certificates within six months after the adoption is granted by the court, please let me know and I will give you the Department of Vital Record’s phone number so you can follow up. If I do not hear from you about the new birth certificate, I will assume that you have received it; it is very important that you receive it for your records.

After consents are signed, the Adoption Request can be filed in the California Superior Court to open a legal case and start the legal process. I will be emailing you a copy of the Adoption Request for your review and e-signatures. Typically, we file in the county where you live (if in CA) or the county where the child was born. There are some exceptions that we can discuss further, if applicable.

Once the Adoption Request is filed and returned by the court, I will send you a copy for your records. If necessary, you can show the Adoption Request to anyone, such as your medical insurance company, as further proof that the child is placed with you for the purposes of adoption. This document is also useful because it is one of the few documents connecting the baby’s name at birth to the name he/she will have after the adoption. 

In order to request a final adoption hearing at the court, I will need to file a list of all adoption expenses which you incurred throughout the process. The judge must review and approve all expenses paid for the adoption prior to the final adoption hearing. Therefore, please keep a list of all amounts you spend in connection with the adoption, including: social worker fees, facilitator fees, agency fees, medical expenses, any expenses paid to or for the birth mother, home study fees, attorney’s fees, fingerprinting fees, etc. For each expense, I will need to know the payee’s name and address, the date of the payment, and the amount of the payment.

You can track the expenses in whatever way is easiest for you (as long as it includes the information above in bold). If you need a spreadsheet to track expenses, you can make a copy of one that I have created here: Adoption Expenses.

I will let you know when I need your list of expenses, but expect that it will be approximately four months after placement. Once I have that information from you, I can begin preparing the form for the final adoption hearing well in advance.

Please remember that, in an adoption, any expenses incurred are not reimbursable in the event for some reason the adoption is not completed. Any expenses paid to the birth mother are deemed an “act of charity” and are not reimbursable in the event the adoption does not finalize.

Outside your county of residence:

If you plan on traveling with the baby for more than 30 days outside of your county before the adoption is final, you must let your social worker know. A court order for permission to leave should be obtained if you plan for the child to leave the county for more than 30 days. Once the adoption is final and you are the child’s legal parents, you will not, of course, need anyone’s permission to travel with the child or to move out of the county.

International travel:

Once the adoption is granted, you are able to have a passport issued in the child’s new name even before you receive the amended birth certificate.

While the adoption is pending, you may need to get court approval to obtain a passport, which I can help with if necessary. Please let me know if you have plans to leave the country while your adoption is pending. It is best to let me know if there is any possibility of international travel during the year following placement of the child with you. If this is the case, we can try to request that the birth parent(s) sign a notarized consent (so you can obtain a passport) at the time they are advised of their rights or at the signing of the relinquishment. That can help streamline the passport process. If we do not have a notarized consent from the birth parent(s), you can still apply for a passport with a court order. In either scenario, the agency will also need to sign an affidavit allowing you to obtain a passport for the child and approving your travel. Once you have specific plans in place, notify me as well as the agency so we can coordinate. Obtaining a court order for the passport will be an additional fee for my services.

While the adoption is pending, if you need an identifying number for the child for tax purposes, you will need to talk with your tax preparer or the IRS about getting an Adoption Tax Identification Number (ATIN—IRS form W-7A). More information about that form and process can be found on the IRS’ website at: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/adoption-taxpayer-identification-number

If you need an ATIN, I recommend that you submit that request to the IRS well in advance of filing your taxes as it can take a while to obtain the number.

More information about obtaining the new Social Security Number for the child after finalization can be found below under the Finalization heading.

Under California law, there is a minimum six-month post-placement supervision period during which the agency is overseeing the placement and checking in with you. In an agency adoption, they must conduct 4 post-placement visits in that 6 month period. In an independent adoption, post-placement supervision is conducted by the county social services department.

After the adoption petition has been filed, I will send a copy to the post-placement agency. If you live out of state, they will work with your home study agency to conduct the required post-placement supervision and visits.

During this time, please be in touch with the post-placement agency and responsive to their requests for information and visit scheduling. The quickest way to finalize is to have all the necessary requirements done as close to the six-month mark as possible.

After at least six months from the date of the filing of the Adoption Request, the agency will file a report with the court recommending the adoption. When I receive a copy of that report, I will prepare the final Adoption Order, Adoption Expenses, and Adoption Agreement for your approval, and send them to the court.

Once the court receives the report from the agency and these final documents, and all birth parents have either consented or had their rights terminated, a court can then set a hearing to finalize the adoption. The court will not set a date until all of the above is completed.

Prior to the hearing, I will provide information about the exact location and department for the finalization hearing.

I always recommend arriving around 15 minutes early to park and get through security. Typically, you will wait in the hall/lobby area outside of the courtroom until the bailiff comes out to either check you in or to call your case.

You are welcome to invite any family/friends that you would like to be there for the final hearing. Birth parents are not notified of the hearing.

The hearing itself will be very brief and celebratory. You may be sworn in to answer some questions. The clerk will ask you to state and spell your names for the record. Then the judge (or I) will confirm that you are the petitioners, that you desire to adopt the child, that you agree to be the child’s parents and to have the same rights and responsibilities as if he/she were born to you. You will sign the adoption agreement, which will also be signed by the judge. Then the judge will sign the order and it’s official! Afterwards, you typically are allowed to take some pictures in the courtroom, but we always have to defer to the courtroom staff.

At the hearing, you will receive a certified copy of the adoption order (although some courts mail it out to you at a later date). This will serve as the official document of your adoption until the amended birth certificate is mailed from Vital Records.

Under California law, when the adoption is final, the only way it can be set aside is if a petition to set it aside is filed and granted by the court. The time limits for such an action are one year for a defect in the proceedings and 3 years for fraud, or 90 days from the date of discovery of the alleged fraud, whichever is earlier. Such proceedings are extremely rare.

For the new birth certificate, the court will send a certified copy of the Adoption Order along with the VS-44 Court Report of Adoption (which you completed with the post-placement agency) to California Vital Records to issue the child’s amended birth certificate. Last I heard, the current processing time for an amended California birth certificate is 4 to 6 months from when California Vital Records receives the documents from the court. If you haven’t heard anything in 6 months, I recommend reaching out to vital records at: (916) 445.2684 or AMENDVR@cdph.ca.gov.

If your child was born out-of-state, once California Vital Records receives the documents, you should receive a letter (or email) from California Vital Records that essentially confirms that they have received your request and have forwarded it to the state where the child was born. After that, I recommend reaching out to Vital Records in the state where the child was born to find out if they will require any additional fees and to check on their current processing times. Every state is slightly different so reaching out to that specific Vital Records department will get you the most accurate and up to date information.

If you need another certified copy of the Adoption Order or any other court document in your case in the future, you may obtain them by writing or going to the Adoption Clerk of the Superior Court where the adoption was finalized. There is a fee for obtaining additional copies and you should check with the Clerk to learn what the current fees are. Please bear in mind that all adoption files, under current law, are confidential.

Under normal circumstances, you will not be able to get a Social Security card for the child until after the adoption is final and, for some Social Security offices, until you have received the amended birth certificate.

Once you receive the child’s new birth certificate, you will be able to obtain a Social Security number for him/her. If he/she was already assigned a SSN at birth, I would still suggest that you request a new SSN. You can check with the Social Security office to see what they will need.

If you need an ID number before you can get the new SSN, you can apply for an adoption taxpayer identification number (ATIN) using IRS form W7A.

Once finalized, you can apply for a passport for the child using the Adoption Order, the Adoption Agreement, his/her original birth certificate, and everything else that is needed for the passport. If you wait to get a passport until you have his/her new birth certificate, you would not need to submit the adoption documents. You can check with the passport office to get answers to any questions you might have.

If you have not already done so, you should consult with an estate-planning attorney to talk about doing or updating your estate plan and naming a prospective guardian in the unlikely event something happens to you.

Federal law provides for Adoption Tax Credits to adopting parents. Be sure you keep all receipts and cancelled checks or credit card statements for all your expenses so you can provide them to the IRS as needed. You should talk with your tax preparer or the IRS regarding your eligibility for this credit and for information on when and how you apply for the credit. More information can be found here: https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/individuals/adoption-credit

This is also a great resource: https://adoptioncouncil.org/article/adoption-tax-credit-questions/

In addition, you should check with your employer to see if there are any adoption assistance programs available to help with your adoption.

https://adoptioncouncil.org/post-adoption-support/

https://adoptionsupport.org

https://www.parentingdifferent.com

https://robyngobbel.com

Book: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors

Surrounded by Love, Allison Olson

Adoption Is Both, Elena Hall

ABCs of Adoption, Raquel McCloud

What Will I Do With My Love Today, Kristen Chenoweth

Some Babies Are Adopted, Cindy Walker 

Learning About My Friend’s Adoption, Allison Olson